EXIT LINES

 

"Don’t forget about me." These words broke my heart when uttered by the elderly woman I dropped off at her retirement home following a tea at our local church. I couldn’t help wondering where her family was and why no-one visited her. She must have been so lonely. She obviously felt forgotten. Why does this happen? Do people think that old people have nothing to offer; that they are too much work? Are people afraid to visit homes for the elderly? Is it too much a reminder of what their own fate will one day be? Does it remind them of death? Or maybe people are just too busy living their own lives, to take the time to visit the elderly.

Exit Lines by Joan Barfoot takes a look at some of these questions as four seniors move into a brand new retirement home in their community. As we move through the book we are introduced to each of these characters and the story of their individual lives – sometimes connected, sometimes not.  Stories of immigration, affairs, deaths, loneliness, struggle and illness. Lives fully lived in all its imperfection up to the moment when Sylvia, Greta, Bernard and Ruth find themselves living together at the Idyll Inn Retirement Home, where they become friends.

LIVES LIVED:

Whenever I go to a funeral, I find myself drawn to the photos of the deceased. It makes me smile and helps me to connect with that person, or brings back memories of time I have spent with them. It makes me feel better somehow, to know that they’ve had a full life, if not always happy. Somehow we forget that Grandma knit sweaters for the orphans, or Uncle Bernie was captured during the war, or Aunt Betty immigrated to a foreign country with her family so they could have a better life. It’s quite likely that they’ve gone through things that many of us couldn’t even possibly imagine let alone survive.  I’m sure they could tell us a thing or two about life and how to live it. Yes, we sometimes forget that the elderly were young once. Especially when all we see is their illness, incapacity, or on-coming dementia.  

 As I read Exit Lines, I couldn’t help but wonder about my own exit lines. Will I too, end up in a retirement home?  And if I did, what would I do with myself there? I couldn’t imagine playing Bingo. I don’t even like playing Bingo now. And as far as learning to knit -- not happening. But some people do like it.  I know my mother did. It was hard for her to get around in the apartment she was living in. So being in a retirement home gave her a chance to make new friends, get involved in committees, and yes, play Bingo. She loved Bingo.

I’m more likely to be like the character of Sylvia, questioning authority at the home, and searching for like-minded individuals to join me in my next quest. I can even imagine myself continuing to write.

NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART:

Then comes the part in the story when one of the four friends wants to end their life, and requests the aid of the other three. I couldn’t imagine having to make a choice like that, for myself or for another.  Even the manner in which the “honored guest” chooses to end their life was shocking to me. Was the author really going to go there? What message was she trying to impart? So many questions came into my mind as I read this book. And I’m sure you’d find them as thought provoking as I did should you decide to read it. It’s a reminder to us all that all lives have worth. And that just because a person is old doesn’t mean they have nothing left to offer. They absolutely do.